OK, I know that it is a new year and that I’m supposed to be all optimistic and positive, blah, blah, blah. But is anyone else ticked off at how the whole country has automated their bathrooms? I mean, the auto-flushers are OK – they have noticeably reduced the mess in the girls’ bathrooms over the years (except when they aren’t working, which is a whole other Oprah), but those stupid auto-faucets are the bane of my existence. I swear they were put in place just to screw with me. Pump a few pumps of liquid soap into my hands, then realize that the sinks have no “real” faucets and start waving my hands under faucets like a mad-woman until I find one that will turn on. I don’t know how these things work – infared? motion? heat sensor? radar? sonar? retinal scan? – but they never seem to work for me. The ones at the Albuquerque airport are the worst, but it happens everywhere. Now I’ve just moved into a new building where the whole thing is automated. I stood there at each station – the soap pumper, the sinks, the towel dispenser – waving my hands around the whole room like I’m swatting at the flies in my head trying to get these stupid machines’ attention. Rosie the Robot they are not. In my opinion, some zones should simply be technology-free, and I would classify public restrooms in that category.

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